Solus

Fenyachan | Tokyo Ghoul - Freedom

Go to the beach. Alone. And on a weekday. On holidays go off the beaten path. Keep your social media feeds active. Ditch the selfies. Bring out the landscapes and the seascapes. Caption them with locations and nothing else. Leave out the subtle admonitions, the quiet declarations of your solitude. Stop hoping your friends turn out of the blue. You are your best companion, for now. 

This adventure and the hundred other misadventures are yours alone. They had their chance when you chased them. Let your bruises and scrapes heal. Chase your dreams! Cross things off of your bucket list even as it grows longer. Alone is okay. Alone is fine. Alone isn't always lonely.

Make no replies to those inquiries - those comments are fluff and were meant for fishing: they're making sure you're still within reach. The bastards. No, you are not within their arm's length anymore. That got you nowhere. You have left that self behind. You have grown wings. You, who were always meant for the sky. Do you not quiver with awe as you see things from these lofty heights? And those friends? Those who weighed you down? They are as ants to you now: small. Insignificant. Unmemorable. Soon, their names will be lost to you.

Chasing them left you feeling alone even in their presence. You are alone, now, yes, but not more alone than you've always been. Does your heart not feel light? Do you not feel the peace? You remain alone, yet you've grown rich with the fullness of experience. The world is yours for the taking. 

So. Ignore the phone when it rings, unless it is from your family, or from those worthy of maintaining connections with. They are the people who truly matter. Enjoy your drink. Draw the sunlight in. Lie back and dream your own constellations. Embrace the breeze as it blows. Laugh. Smile. Make friends with a winged stranger, a fellow dreamer. Forget those who left you. Forget those who've forgotten you. You've learned to leave them, too.